Colorful Tumblr Themes

illest:

Ladies, if you think your man is cheating. Take him to that bitches front door and see if his wifi connects.

slenclerman:

reblog if youve ever been called
-bread
-oprah winfrey
-pianist
-cake pan

yuu-ung:

Probably one of the best tweets I’ve ever come across tbh.

clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”

carryonmy-assbutt:

rose-for-a-tenner:

carryonmy-assbutt:

guys what do hostages do if they have to pee really badly

like do the bad guys let you have toilet breaks or escort you to the loo

My cousin was held for 36 hours by the Gulf cartel. He said they were pretty chill about bathroom breaks.

I want more to that story